


sugary sweet apologizes

by Tator



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Fights, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, also david calls matteo monky, but like not a lot because i'm a hoe for happy endings, i don't make the rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 17:30:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19300429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tator/pseuds/Tator
Summary: “Whatever,” he mumbles and turns away.“Wait, Matteo- I didn’t-“ David tries to reach out and touch because he still feels like he’s not entirely in his body. Everything he has become has done nothing but try to protect this sweet boy from the cruel world he has come to know, but he never really expected that he would have to protect Matteo from his own ability to be too quick to strike out with his tongue.or David snaps at Matteo and immediately regrets it





	sugary sweet apologizes

**Author's Note:**

> [based on these headcannons](https://bagels-and-seagulls.tumblr.com/post/185716310803/davenzi-headcannons-david-starting-uni)

_“Jesus, Matteo, can’t you see I’m busy? Stop bothering me.”_

David feels like he was just dunked underwater. Everything is dull around him so quickly and his muscles are weighed down with the molasses sensation of guilt. His ears plug up with the sound of his own heart thumping, just waiting to jump right out of his chest and land on the floor for Matteo to pick up and take with him because he owes it to him anyways. 

No, he’s not underwater. He’s moving in slow motion, watching the words form off of the tip of his tongue, and if he tries hard enough, he can almost pluck them out of the air right in front of him to save Matteo from having to hear them when everything about them is _wrongwrongwrong_. 

That’s not really right either. He’s not in slow motion. He’s outside of his body, watching a scene of a movie where there’s about to be a knockout fight, except the only one who will be fighting is himself because he vowed the second he looked at Matteo to pummel anyone who made this boy look like he did now. The director of this scene will tell the actor to hit harder with each strike because it won’t be enough to even out the cruelty he has already done, and the actor will listen because David is all of them, and he agrees wholeheartedly. 

Matteo cocks his head to the side like he hadn’t heard anything and then blinks at David. His face flushes in embarrassment, and David can tell just by the look in Matteo’s eyes that he has already decided to check out of this conversation and ignore anything from this moment forward. Matteo straightens up from where he was leaning over the desk, looking at David, and he clenches his jaw. 

“Whatever,” he mumbles and turns away. 

“Wait, Matteo- I didn’t-“ David tries to reach out and touch because he still feels like he’s not entirely in his body. Everything he has become has done nothing but try to protect this sweet boy from the cruel world he has come to know, but he never really expected that he would have to protect Matteo from his own ability to be too quick to strike out with his tongue. 

“Go back to studying,” Matteo says back. “I won’t bother you.” There’s no heat in his voice, and David really wished there was. He wished that Matteo would deliver his own hit just to bring some sort of balance to this situation, so that David could start apologizing now and hope that Matteo would forgive him by tomorrow. 

But Matteo stays quiet. He drops himself onto the far side of the bed, turns off the light, and pulls the blankets up high under his ears, turning away from David completely. 

David doesn’t know what he should do. He really does have a lot of work that he needs to do, but if he tries to turn back to his books, he knows that he won’t be able to concentrate on anything, will just count down the pages until he’s able to curl up behind Matteo and hope that he lets him. But if he just crawls into bed now, he doesn’t want Matteo to feel like he’s doing it just because he feels guilty. Even though it would be because he does. Matteo hates pity. David didn’t want to insult him twice in one night.

David looks at his papers for another minute before he sighs and closes his books. He shoves them in his backpack before he looks over at Matteo who is still turned away from him. He wonders if this means he’s supposed to sleep on the couch. Matteo wouldn’t tell him if that was true anyways. David had gotten better at figuring Matteo out after all this time, but even if he jotted down every flutter of his eyelash and every click of his tongue and every reddening of his ears, David still wouldn’t know everything about him. He still would be at a loss now about how to read the sharp line of his shoulders and the tight way he was gripping the blanket to his face. All he wants to do is ease the tension in his jaw and kiss the back of his neck with apologies written in between his teeth, but he doesn’t know if that would be enough. 

He gets into bed anyways. Matteo stiffens, and David reaches out before he can even think too hard about it, his muscle memory to pull Matteo close at every inkling of a frown and smooth out the lines in between his brows overpowering his common sense that Matteo was upset because of him. “ _Baby_ ,” he whispers. 

“Don’t,” Matteo says, still quiet. And he pulls his arm away. 

David lays awake most of night, realizing why people agree not to go to bed angry. He wasn’t angry. Just guilty. Shameful. He doesn’t think that Matteo is angry either. He’s probably just sad. Just insecure and regretful and beating himself up for something that wasn’t his fault, something only David should feel bad about. He just keeps replaying the two sentences in his head over and over and over again because he wants to know where he went wrong, where his boyfriend’s natural caring affection made him snap and say something ugly, say something he knew cut deeper than David’s frustration over his latest school assignment. 

It was a quiet night like this a couple weeks ago, maybe months ago, where Matteo muttered into the skin of David’s collarbones about his parents screaming matches every night, about how his dad would brush him off with a quick _”I’m busy. Bother your mother.”_ whenever he didn’t want to have to deal with his son, about how he learned to be quiet while the adults were talking. David was so surprised when Matteo started talking. He was sure that he would never hear the story of what had pushed him to move out and not talk to his father anymore except in quick spurts of frustrated Italian once a month. He ran his fingers up and down Matteo’s spine and pressed kisses to his forehead and his temple and the soft spot behind his ear, whatever it took to keep Matteo slack enough to let this all out for probably the first time since it happened. David smoothed kisses over Matteo’s skin and sewed in his promise to be nothing like the couple he described in terrible detail. 

Matteo is so quick to retreat and hide somewhere deep in his chest whenever someone gets too loud around him, when they raise their voices no matter what emotion they were pouring out at the time. And David just combined the two things that he knew reminded Matteo about the worst parts of his past and his biggest fears of the future. God, David would just hate himself if he thought it would be of any use to proving to Matteo that he hadn’t meant it. 

He wakes up around dawn. His whole spine itches with the desire to shove his face between Matteo’s shoulder blades and pull him tight to his chest. Matteo is on his back, sleeping restlessly with his eyes moving behind the lids rapidly. David cards his fingers through his hair slowly because even if he knew that he didn’t have the right to crawling inside Matteo’s space, he couldn’t but help and try to get a small touch to ground himself to reality. He sits up quietly before he takes it too far and rolls on top of his sweetheart to smother out the bad dreams with his pure desire to drown Matteo in his love. 

David goes to the kitchen and tries to think of something to occupy his hands. He find the bright pink post-its that Hans keeps around to remind himself what kind of groceries he wants to buy and to remind Matteo what groceries he owes him. David draws a quick figure. The guy’s toe is digging into the ground while his head is hung low. His hands are behind his back, holding a big array of exuberant flowers. He tries to make the expression bashful and guilty, and not completely overcome with the need to fix this right away because he didn’t want to spend another second without being about to look at Matteo like he hung the moon because he very well could have. And if anyone told David that, he would believe them. He draws a speech bubble and writes as neatly as he could to not create the room for confusion _I’m sorry, monkey. I didn’t mean any of it. You never bother me._ He sticks the note on Matteo’s phone in the living room before he can think about it any longer and starts to make some breakfast. 

“Hey,” Matteo mutters. 

David looks up from where he’s pushing scrambled eggs around in a pan. “Hi,” he responds. Matteo rubs at his eyes with the heels of his hand and stretches the other arm above his head. He was holding his phone in his hand, but the post-it wasn’t anywhere to be seen. David tries not to stare too long. “Do you want some eggs?” 

“Sure.” 

“Okay. Coffee is ready too, if you want some.” 

Matteo doesn’t say anything, just gets out a mug. 

They were usually quiet in the morning. Matteo wasn’t much of a morning person, and more often than not would try to get David to stay in bed with him as along as possible, chasing the last few minutes of sleep that he could. But this didn’t feel like the peaceful morning that David had gotten so used to. It felt like there was storm warning in the area, and everyone had already boarded up their windows, waiting for the rain to start. 

David doesn’t say anything until Matteo has already gotten one bite of eggs shoved ungracefully into his mouth. “Teo, I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever,” Matteo shrugs, and looks down at his hands on the table. “I shouldn’t have interrupted-“

“No,” David argues. He keeps his voice even and reaches out to run his fingers over the other’s elbow. “It’s not whatever, and this isn’t your fault. I snapped at you when you were just trying to help, and it wasn’t fair or right of me. And I’m sorry.” 

Matteo stares at him for minute, like he’s trying to read all of the hidden messages written on David’s face. “Okay,” Matteo says quietly after he found whatever he was looking for. His shoulders slump, and his elbow pushes further into David’s fingers. 

“I’m sorry,” David repeats. 

Matteo looks up then, and David has to remind himself not to let his breath get too far away from him. “Okay.” 

“Really.” 

“I know,” Matteo says with a little more force this time. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Okay! Okay! I get it. You’re apologizing. I forgive you!” Matteo cracks a small smile and rolls his eyes. 

“I love you,” David says instead for a change of pace.

Matteo’s smile gains a couple more teeth. “I know.” His fingers graze over the back of David’s hand, and it gives David the confidence to try his luck. 

“Can I get a kiss?” 

Matteo rolls his eyes but leans over the table. David meets him halfway there. 

That night David brings back a big bouquet of sunflowers he buys off of a lady selling them on the street, and Matteo laughs when he sees them. He calls him a sap and dramatic and says things like dramatic and overkill. David smothers out Matteo’s giggles with an innocent kiss that leaves them both in goosebumps and in a situation not suitable for the kitchen. Later, Matteo puts them in a nice vase that Mia had left behind and puts them on the desk. David catches him smelling them and rubbing at the petals but saves him the embarrassment of pointing it out. He just soaks in the moment. He thinks about drawing it later. He thinks about getting Matteo flowers every week.

**Author's Note:**

> [come talk about my gremlin son and his emotional support boyfriend on tumblr with me](https://bagels-and-seagulls.tumblr.com/)


End file.
